My draft number was 37. I had already made the trip to Dallas for the mandated physical exams and tests, and with that low number, it was very clear that I would be in basic training within the next few months. It was a very scary time for me. I thought about Canada a lot, but just knew that was out of the question.
What would it be like to be drafted? As a thin, weakling of a teenager with really bad eyesight, would I even survive boot camp?
Then, Richard Nixon ended the draft and, I truly believe, saved my life.
Memorial Day Holidays are always odd for me. For the most part, I don't know what to feel. The sacrifices of tens of thousands of men - and now women - in wars fought for righteous as well as questionable reasons are really very dear. But it is not only those who die that need to be remembered.
My work as executive director of Ravens Grove Foundation for Healing and the Returning Warriors program it sponsors has made it clear to me first hand that the ravages of war are visited on more than those who die. Vietnam veterans, as well as many survivors of World War II, continue to suffer physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wounds. This is not academic. This is as real as it gets.
Many soldiers returning from the Middle East are raw. They have not yet recognized how deeply wounded they are. Estimates range between 30% to 50% of these warriors face the unrelenting symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or fierce depression. The latest studies suggest that the number of suicides among veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan will eventually exceed the number actually killed in battle. And this does not take into account those fighting in other "little wars" around the globe.
It is not only the veteran who suffers. Families are broken or destroyed, as well. Wives awaken in the night being beaten by their husbands in the grip of a flashback fueled nightmare, or watch helplessly as they rummage through closets and drawers looking for clues about who they used to be. Children hide from once loving parents, not comprehending what is happening, what they might have done. Employers see once productive workers return with problems so serious they can no longer even come to work some days.
These stories are certainly not true of all veterans. This I know. But it is true for far, far too many.
We cannot comprehend the horror of this kind of warfare from our office desks and living room sofas. We see images; we hear the stories; yet we cannot really begin to imagine. The only ones who can are brothers in arms. If you are one of them, you know. If not, you cannot understand and no amount of explaining can ever truly awaken your comprehension. You remain outside no matter how much you care or how much you try.
Many who attend the Returning Warriors retreats have been carrying their scars for more than 40 years since Vietnam. Some have become fairly successful in managing their wounds and do fairly well, according to our cultural standards. Others walk alone the dark shadows at the fringe of society. working at odd jobs or even seeking handouts - constant, uncomfortable cornerside reminders that the American Dream has many holes and a small net, even for those who sacrificed everything but their lives.
So, for me, Memorial Day is about more than remembering those who have given their lives. It's also about honoring the "walking dead and wounded" among us, their families, and their communities as well.
In a very real sense, Memorial Day includes us all. Let us remember. Let us be grateful. Let us DO something to help.